Gruden Watch: Will I Shave My Head Or Will Erin Andrews Sing Rocky Top?
Jon Gruden fever has swept across the Volunteer state.
The Gruden Fever -- Gruver?-- has replaced the perpetual malaise of the Derek Dooley era, when the question has been the same for the past three years -- when is Dooley going to get a signature win?
Vol fans were so desperate for a win to answer this question that they were even willing to consider on the road at Mississippi State a signature win.
Is UT Southern Miss now?
Anyway, I've been saying for a month now that Gruden would be Tennessee's top target and that the Vols would make Gruden tell them no. I think those conversations will officially take place starting Monday if Derek Dooley loses at South Carolina. (If Dooley wins then assuming he manages to avoid disaster in the final four games of the season -- no guarantee at all -- the entire 2013 season will be a rehash of the 2012 season only Tennessee will have a worse football team).
Yesterday 3HL guest Erin Andrews, who absolutely kills it every Tuesday with us, came on and asked who Tennessee wanted as its next coach.
I said Jon Gruden.
Which Erin shot down in a heartbeat. "He has everything he wants at ESPN and Monday Night Football. They've carved out a whole thing for him where kids want to go sit down and be evaluated by him as a quarterback. He does not want to go to Knoxville, Tennessee."
I suggested a wager and EA said, "I don't know, it better be a good one because I'm going to clean up on this one."
Later, she continued, "Come on, you're nuts."
This may be accurate.
Later she continued, "It is not going to happen...He could have gone to Notre Dame. They wanted him at Notre Dame. Michigan. He could have gone to lots of places. Why Tennessee now? Because of his wife?"
Later EA stuck the knife in farther: "You know what, that makes total sense, put it on Twitter now, he's going there because his wife is a former cheerleader. That seals the deal."
Eventually we agreed to a Jon Gruden wager.
If Gruden goes to the Vols Erin has to sing "Rocky Top" while wearing a Gruden to the Vols t-shirt at her own Super Bowl party. The video of her performance will then be posted to the Internet.
If Gruden doesn't go to the Vols then I have to shave my head leaving the visible initials UF.
Honestly, I have a lot more to lose here. My hair is my only solid physical asset. Without hair I'm like Tom Green with less sex appeal.
Especially since EA taunted me by saying she was going to call Gruden and Mike Tirico to try and insider trade on our bet.
So who ya got, America's favorite former sideline reporter or me?
Okay, all of you picked EA.
Even my wife.
When I got home after making the bet, my wife said, "You're going to look even more ridiculous without hair."
In the meantime, EA better be working on her singing voice. And renting that Taylor Swift hair blower. Because these pre-schoolers in Korea are going to be tough to beat.