Awkward Fan Photos: Tennessee Fan Edition
Yep, the OKTC crew is our eyes and ears. Don't hide those awkward fan photos just because you share the same fan base as another fan, share them. We apportion ridicule fairly on OKTC. And humor knows no fan color.
How do we love this UT fan picture?
Let me count the 13 ways.
1. This is the picture a UT fan chose to show the world to represent himself on Twitter.
A purchased! official Dollywood snapshot.
This really happened.
2. Does anyone else on earth have a cropped Dollywood photo as their actual Twitter profile pic.
Even Dolly Parton doesn't do this and she owns the park.
Also, who still buys park photos in an age of cell phone cameras?
Well, now we know, the guy with the beeper attached to his jorts.
Even Florida Gator fans are laughing at you.
The way this photo is cropped, it's like even the Dollywood photographer couldn't believe this was real. The photographer could have just cut you off mid-thigh and everyone would have assumed that your jeans went all the way to your ankles.
But, no, that's your pale white knees.
Even the Dollywood photographer was making fun of you.
4. As if it wasn't bad enough that you're wearing jorts, your fly is halfway down.
Again, you chose this picture to represent yourself to the entire Twitter universe.
5. You have my braided belt from 1995.
I wondered what happened to that thing.
Glad it's being put to good use. (And by "good use" I mean holding up jorts on an idiot at Dollywood).
6. Jeff Gordon: Destiny t-shirt.
You know what else is "Destiny?" Everyone who wears this shirt struggling through pre-algebra in 11th grade.
Also, did you really tuck in the Nascar t-shirt?
Must have gone straight to Dollywood from church.
In related news, how many 1998 national champion related items does this guy own?
Over/under has to be at least 52, right?
7. Goatee, bang.
Remember when it was 1993 and everyone had goatees?
8. How about the ill-fitting Jeff Gordon hat that manages to somehow look like a swim cap?
Did you really go double NASCAR gear at Dollywood?
Were you afraid that someone might think you were an Earnhardt, Jr. fan with only the Gordon t-shirt or the Gordon hat to connect you to your favorite driver?
Gotta eliminate the confusion.
9. Zack Morris's cell phone still works!
Replete with cell phone belt clip.
By the way, unless it's possible you might receive an immediate order from the commander in chief to input the nuclear codes -- which would take 45 minutes on this model cell phone -- I think you can risk the .4 additional seconds that might pass from pulling your phone out of your jorts pocket to answer it.
You're wearing jorts at Dollywood.
No matter what you do for a living -- and I'm guessing security guard at a Pigeon Forge go-cart racetrack -- time is not of the essence.
10. Is that a Lady Vol change purse on the left side of the braided belt?
I'm going yes.
11. Was this photo taken inside a Dollywood cage?
Not that Dollywood is Niagara Falls, but why is there a protective cage in front of a barren hillside here?
And why would you pick that place to awkwardly lean against a fence and pose for a photo?
And why is it so tall? Is the tree famous?
12. Final thought before this picture was taken: "Where should I put my hands?"
Answer: Not there.
13. Odds this guy thinks Derek Dooley needs more time to turn around the football team, but believes Barack Obama didn't do enough to fix the country in his first term?
Pull your cell phones out of your cell phone holders on your braided belts and dive in with whatever I missed in the comments below.
And if you like OKTC's awkward fan photos -- you do, the number of readers are insane for these -- then catch up with prior editions below.
At OKTC we ridicule all awkward fans equally.
If you have an awkward fan photo that you'd like for us to deconstruct, send it to email@example.com and we'll be rapidly on the case thanks to our OKTC beepers.