You can debate the seriousness of the #DeflateGate scandal all you want. But the fact is that many, many people have felt the need to weigh in properly about why the New England Patriots' footballs didn't ... well ... weigh in properly. From players to politicians to astrophysicists, seems like every pound per square inch of this controversy has been covered. Here are our favorite reactions.
Getty ImagesWin McNamee/Michael Buckner/Joe
Rob Gronkowski's explanation? Gronk-smash!
The Patriots' inimitable tight end was one of the first to voice his opinion, and it seems at least plausible that 'Gronking may cause deflation.'
New York Post's front page: NSFW
The N.Y. tabloids had a field day with this scandal that includes copious uses of the word 'balls.' You can probably figure out where they went from there, but if not, here's a link.
Getty ImagesAndrew H. Walker
Brandon Browner: Our RB 'could've carried a beach ball' and beaten Colts
Patriots running back LeGarrette Blount did score three rushing touchdowns vs. Indianapolis in the AFC title game, so New England cornerback Browner has a point ... although the proper PSI for beach balls would surely also be a point of debate.
Getty ImagesJerome Davis
Dwayne Allen: Pats could have 'used soap for balls' and beaten us
You see where this is going -- the Patriots could've used any kind of ball or household cleaning agent and it wouldn't have mattered because they obliterated Indianapolis regardless. But if they'd used soap, maybe the Pats would've emerged from this dog pile smelling a little better.
Getty ImagesHarry How
Bill Nye: 'To really change the pressure, you need one of these' (points to an inflation needle)
Oooh! Sick burn from the Science Guy! For the record, Nye also added this about Pats coach Bill Belichick's DeflateGate news conference: 'What he said didn't make any sense.' OK, but YOU try telling Coach that.
Getty ImagesRob Kim
Neil deGrasse Tyson: Pats would have beaten Colts 'even in the vacuum of space'
The famed astrophysicist dropped some serious science knowledge on us regarding temperature and ball pressure. But it turns out that the esteemed scientist made an initial calculation 'oversight,' which he later admitted in a Facebook post. What does it all mean? Well, we got into journalism because we were promised there'd be no math, so we'll let you wade into the equations here.
Getty Images for FOXCindy Ord
Joe Biden: 'I like a softer ball'
The vice president gave us his preference while also getting in a subtle #humblebrag about his former playing days. And that's how you win at politics, my friends.
Getty ImagesHunter Martin
Tom Brady: 'My feelings got hurt'
Typical Brady. Making it all about him, putting himself at the center of everything. Oh, wait ...
Getty ImagesNick Laham
Kim Kardashian: 'Sometimes I just think it’s hype'
Well, you know what they say: It takes a hype machine to know one.
Getty ImagesDavid Becker
Tom Brady held a DeflateGate news conference in which he talked a lot about his 'balls,' and the Internet promptly broke -- but, mercifully, not before giving us some incredible memories. Much like Pinocchio, it was an unbelievable performance all around.
Getty ImagesFrazer Harrison
Ex-Bucs QB Brad Johnson: 'I paid some guys off to get the balls right'
At this point, the jokes write themselves. Still, it's like, 'Whoa, Brad! Here we are just tossin' out a whole bunch of sophomoric zingers about male anatomy, and then you go gettin' all serious on us. Yikes!'
Getty ImagesChris Graythen
Ryan Leaf (Ryan Leaf!): On how NFL found video of locker room attendant so quickly
Leaf, one of the biggest draft busts in NFL history, was released from prison in December, so he finally has some time for social media. He took to Twitter to reflect on DeflateGate and the news that the NFL was looking into footage of a locker room attendant. And we have to admit Leaf's got a point here: 'It's troubling that the NFL can find the video of a locker room attendant in a week and never see the (Ray) Rice elevator video ever!' (Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)
Richard Sherman, on whether Pats will be punished: 'Probably not'
'Their resume speaks for itself,' added the mercurial Seattle Seahawks cornerback. Simple. Elegant. Hard to argue.
Pats coach Belichick gets asked whether he needs anyone murdered
This actually happened at Super Bowl Media Day.
Petition seeks to DQ Patriots, play Colts-Ravens for AFC title
LOL. Totally unrealistic. But credit to this disgruntled Baltimore Ravens fan for thinking outside the box.
Getty ImagesAl Bello
Tony Romo: 'We're the Dallas Cowboys. We have real balls'
The Academy of Country Music Awards was held at AT&T Stadium in April, so it made sense to have Cowboys QB Tony Romo as a guest. He threw a pass to awards co-host Luke Bryan, who did actually catch it, prompting fellow co-host Blake Shelton to ask Romo if the ball had been deflated. Romo gave the only acceptable answer in that scenario.
Even President Obama is a comedian
The New England Patriots were honored at the White House in April for their Super Bowl XLIX win, but it's unclear whether anyone informed them that it was also a roast. President Obama dropped this zinger: 'I usually tell a bunch of jokes at these events, but with the Patriots in town I was worried 11 out of 12 of them would fall flat.' Ha! Now, come on, that was pretty funny. Although Bill Belichick -- shown here giving the 'thumbs-down' signal -- clearly was not amused.