We've got a week and a half until Christmas. Unless you're a responsible adult who shops in timely manner, you've got work to do.
People need gifts, and you don't want to be Bad Gift Dude, who shows up with apologies and an unwrapped $20 gift card to FYE.
You alsodon't want to be the guy giving out wack sports gifts, which appear to be more numerous than ever this season.
The following are the 15 worst sports-themed gifts on the market this holiday season. I've provided their price and the rare individuals and situations they'd be perfect for.
I can't tell you what to buy the sports nut in your life. But I can tell you what to neverbuy them.
Buster Posey Player Elf
We start with the MLB’s "Player Elves"—a collection of toys that take prominent baseball players and turn them into horrifying windsock people. They’re described by the MLB Shop as “fun, pint-sized versions of your favorite players" you can decorate your workplace with.
This is a good idea for anyone tired of coworkers wandering into their space and disrupting their work. No one will bother you with these voodoo Vienna sausage figures pinned up around your work area. They will tip off the authorities and find a new route to the breakroom.
Perfect For: the easily amused, photosynthesizers on the go.
St. Louis Cardinals Santa Figurine
Buying for a St. Louis Cardinals fan who does Christmas the Right Way? Then you need the Cardinals Santa Figurine—the holiday table-topper for anyone who has ever walked uphill both ways to act like they've been there before.
Perfect For: nature lovers, the deciduous-ly inclined.
Redskins Checkerboard Santa Figurine
A figurine commemorating the old Christmas story of Hermey the Elf's victory over Santa Claus at the North Pole Labor Day barbecue, as made famous by the hit 1964 claymation blockbuster Pay the Man, Santa.
The figurine captures a victorious Hermey delivering his most unforgettable line—“King me, you old-ass man!"
Perfect For: money management, the Mighty Pig Man.
"The Cowboys Sing Holiday Halftime" Vinyl Record
Not new by any means, but one of the weirdest sports-Christmas crossover products ever offered to a fan base.
The Cowboys Sing Holiday Halftime is a real, vintage vinyl album featuring members of the 1970s Cowboys singing holiday classics like “Merry Christmas,” “Jingle Bells” and “Tropical Winter” (whatever that is). They sing like football players, so they sound like cats hitting walls. But of all the bizarre, holiday football gifts you could give, someone might at least enjoy this as a collectible.