Athletes and their Thanksgiving dinner equivalents
Grab you a plate of sports.
It's Thanksgiving, and we here at FOX Sports are very thankful for the athletes that provide both our livelihood and our entertainment.
In showing this gratitude, I did the most natural and logical thing and asked people around the FOX Sports office about some traditional (and nontraditional) Thanksgiving dishes—and which athletes they'd compare them to.
The following is a potluck dinner of athletes and sports personalities and their Thanksgiving dish equivalents, as provided by myself and my colleagues.
I learned a lot of things making this feast, chief among them: do not come between some people and their dinner rolls.
Toronto StarToronto Star via Getty Images
“Brady is turkey—the two-faced mother with a light and dark side that provides sustenance to the entire damn sports ecosphere.” -- Andrew Lynch.
"A guilty pleasure and comfort food, can often be as good or better than the main courses but should never be left alone." -- Dan Carson, take sommelier.
Rolls—The Dallas Cowboys
"They’re 'America’s Team,' and everyone loves rolls. You can’t go wrong with rolls. Find someone who doesn’t like rolls and ship them straight outta here.” -- Lindsey Foltin, editor/writer.
Mashed Potatoes—Verne Lundquist
"I think of mashed potatoes as the soft, mushy comfort food of life, which is basically Verne Lundquist. You know listening to him is bad for you, but you do it anyways and don't care." -- Aaron Torres.
“Reliable, a cornerstone...unflashy and underrated.” -- Nick Schwartz, senior writer.
“Probably someone who's constantly trying too hard to be funny...Shaq? Or are we looking at ham as an auxiliary meat?” -- Chris Strauss, senior director.
Gravy—Also Shaquille O'Neal
"Shaq might be the gravy of sports. He’s put on everything for no particular reason but you don’t really mind.” -- Dieter Kurtenbach, senior writer.
Prime Rib - Vince Wilfork
"I wanted to put a picture of Vince Wilfork next to some prime rib." -- Dan Carson, pants analyst.
Leo Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo—Apple and Pumpkin Pie
"Leo Messi is the apple pie, and Cristiano Ronaldo is the pumpkin pie. Both are essential Thanksgiving treats and no table is complete without them, but you ride or die for one, or the other. Team Apple or Team Pumpkin. No exceptions.” -- Kayla Knapp, soccer digital producer.
Deviled Eggs—J.R. Smith
"Gahdamn these things are good." -- Dan Carson, GIF technician.
Hard Candies—Tim Duncan
“Timmy’s bringing them for after dinner” -- Pete Blackburn, senior writer.
Cranberry Sauce—Brandon Jennings
"Tart, divisive, generally underrated. Cranberry Jennings has the capability to surprise you or be complete garbage. A nice palate cleanser from blander affair." -- Dan Carson, meme correspondent.
“He’s the only freak that would drink milk with a steak.” —Alex Dowd, senior writer
Macaroni and Cheese—Anthony Rizzo
"Wholesome, dependable, never takes a day off. Can be great or just alright, but never wholely disappointing." -- Dan Carson, leftover maven.