There was lots of hand wringing last night over what substance Yankees starter Michael Pineda had on his throwing hand during his start against the Red Sox. Pineda, for the record, said this was just dirt:
TONIGHT, WE DINE ON PINS
Longtime Colorado Rockies outfielder Larry Walker — perhaps best remembered for winning the 1997 NL MVP and hitting with a backward helmet from the wrong side of the plate in that year’s All-Star game — claims he bowled a 300 on Thursday.
For those curious, Johnny Manziel reportedly had the top Wonderlic score among quarterbacks in this year’s draft — a distinction that likely means absolutely nothing.
DO OR DONUT, THERE IS NO TRY
Some guy in England says he bet more than $1,600 on Rory McIlroy to win the Masters after he saw McIlroy’s face in a danish. To his credit, the resemblance is uncanny, as pastry apparitions go. But he also could have just saved the money and used it to pay one-third of this person’s ridiculous tab at the Masters gift shop, instead.
JUUUUUUUUST A BIT OFF-KEY
Come for the Brewers’ take on Pharrell Williams’ song “Happy,” stay for Bob Uecker pretending to play a trumpet:
AUSTIN-TATEOUS LEARNING BY LES
You’re never too old to stop learning — just ask Les Miles who was spotted soaking in a history class at the University of Texas on Thursday. (Fear not, LSU fans, Miles and his wife were on campus visiting their daughter, who is on the women’s swim team.)
FLIP FLOP FLAP AT AUGUSTA
U.S. Amateur champion Matthew Fitzpatrick shot 4-over on Thursday at the Masters. Imagine how much better he might have have been with his own caddie, who had to sit out the prestigious event because Augusta National wouldn’t let him carry Fitzpatrick’s bag in sandals, which he has to wear because of an orthopedic condition.
Toronto Raptors forward Amir Johnson was knighted at Medieval Times after throwing a party there for his teammates and about 30 fans.
DANCIN’ SHOES IN THE BIG D
It’s probably in your best interests to go choreograph a synchronized dance with your dad right now, just in case the two of you ever end up on the massive AT&T Stadium video board (on which you can, apparently, play video games if you’re Conan O’Brien):